The 2 biggest mistakes people make when setting goals

There are a million resources about how to write better goals. This episode is not one of them. What you are going to learn in this episode you have not heard before. But there are 2 mistakes people continue to make that make reaching their goals so much harder.

First you have to have a bunch of whys that are empowering, selfish, and within your control. To reach you goal you will need to push yourself and do some hard things. If you have multiple compelling reasons why, changes are greater that you will reach them.

Next you have to make sure that you know how to measure that that goal was reached. If not, goals become another thing we beat ourselves up about. This does not mean you have to know how to reach the goal, but you have to know how you will evaluate that you did reach it.

Tune in this week and learn how to easily shift these two parts of your goals and set yourself up for success. These small changes over time can make all the difference. 

What you’ll learn in this episode:

  • Why focusing on the smaller parts of goals is more important than the big things
  • How to create compelling reasons why that will help get you through the hard part of reaching goals
  • How to make sure you can measure reaching the goal

Mentioned on the show:

FAQ’s

Listen in this week and find answers to some of the most frequently asked questions. We cover topics like how to deal with burnout to and how to stop feeling like you are letting people down. If you have a question you want answered, send me an email at lindsay@lindsaybuchancoaching.com Listen and learn answers to some common FAQ’s.

What you’ll learn in this episode:

  • What to do if you are feeling burnt out.
  • What is coaching and what things do people get help with
  • How to stop waking up feeling anxious
  • When’s the right time to rotate

Mentioned on the show:

Strengths and weaknesses

It’s that time of year where we start doing evaluations. We review how we performed against our goals, give peer feedback, and do our self-evaluation. A key part of self evaluations at work is identifying your strengths and weaknesses. But there are a few pitfalls I see people continue to get into around this.

Your strengths are not principles or guidelines your company has in place. Your strengths are what make you, you when you do your work. Your weaknesses are just your strengths overused. So the more you understand your strengths, the easier it is to identify your true areas of improvement.

Tune in this week and learn how to better identify your strengths and weaknesses. Start doing your self-evaluation for your own benefit, not just to tick a box at work. 

What you’ll learn in this episode:

  • What your strengths really are and why it’s important to start by identifying them
  • Common pitfalls people face when trying to identify their strengths
  • What your weaknesses are and what they are telling you
  • Good examples of true strengths and weaknesses

Mentioned on the show:

  • Ready to get some free 1:1 help? I offer a limited number of free coaching calls each week. Grab time on my calendar and let’s get you feeling more confident today.
  • Get the How to confidently speak up in meetings free online course. In this 10 minute video training, you’re going to learn 3 ways to start speaking up today.

How to change your limiting beliefs

We all want to believe different things about ourselves, our abilities, how well we are doing or how possible a dream is. But by default your brain stops you and keeps you stuck in your current limiting belief.  

If you really want to change what you believe, not just logically, but emotionally, this episode is the one for you. You are going to learn the 2 may ways to go from “I’m not good enough” to “I’m unstoppable.” And you don’t even have to control the people and things around you to get there.

Tune in this week and learn how start believing in your ability to get promoted, success at work, meet your goals, and be nice to yourself along the way.  

What you’ll learn in this episode:

  • What your limiting beliefs are the root cause of not reaching your goals
  • 2 ways to change your beliefs
  • Examples of how it works in real life
  • The mental model behind changing any belief

Mentioned on the show:

Ready to get some free 1:1 help? I offer a limited number of free coaching calls each week. Grab time on my calendar and let’s get you feeling more confident today.

Limiting beliefs

What do you believe about your past? What do you believe about your job?

A belief is a thought you’ve had so many times that it feels true. Like ruts in a road, we default to live in alignment with our beliefs. So, it’s crucial you understand where your beliefs come from, what you believe, and how it’s impacting your life.

You have permission to believe anything you want. You also will continue to prove your beliefs true. This is the first of a two-part series to help you get rid of your limiting beliefs and decide on purpose what you want to believe. 

What you’ll learn in this episode:

  • What beliefs are and where they come from
  • Why you continue to prove your beliefs true
  • What are limiting beliefs
  • How to figure out what your limiting beliefs are

Mentioned on the show:

What to do when you just can’t take it anymore

I cried at work. In front of my manager. For a good 2 minutes. I was so tired, stressed, and overwhelmed and I just couldn’t hold it back any longer.

Did you know when you cry, your tears include a protein-based hormone that acts as a pin killer? It’s true. Crying is one of the ways your body tries to help you feel better and get back to “normal”.  

Learning how to feel is a crucial skill in learning how to live a full life and go after your dreams. In this episode you’ll learn how to feel all the stress, anxiety, and frustration that comes up. When you learn how to feel it, you are back in control and no longer trying to avoid feeling bad. Growth means getting through the hard things and hard things don’t always feel great. But when you know how to feel it, it’s so much easier than you think. It’s as easy as paying attention to different parts of your body and taking a few deep breaths.

Tune in this week and learn how to feel all the things that come up in living a full life. Remember, the goal is not to feel better. The goal is to feel.  

What you’ll learn in this episode:

  • Why I cried at work
  • Where your feelings come from
  • How to feel your emotions
  • How to feel different emotions

Mentioned on the show:

  • Get the How to confidently speak up in meetings free online course. In this 10 minute video training, you’re going to learn 3 ways to start speaking up today.
  • Ready to get some free 1:1 help? I offer a limited number of free coaching calls each week. Grab time on my calendar and let’s get you feeling more confident today.

What to do when you’re tired if feeling bad

Most of us are tired of feeling anxious about the current political climate. We’re over the stress from always feeling behind at work. And throw on top of that a global pandemic. Sometimes we just want to feel better.

But here’s the secret. The goal is not to feel better. The goal is to feel.

Living a full life means it’s full of amazing adventures and tragic events. It has heartbreaking endings, and inspiring wins. As humans, we have a nature desire to grow and process, but if we don’t know how to deal with the crap along the way, we slow ourselves down.

Tune in this week for part 1 of this topic and learn what it means to not have the goal be to feel better. Learn why having the goal be to feel is how you feel better. And make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss part 2 where you will learn how to feel all that stress and overwhelm while still moving forward.   

What you’ll learn in this episode:

  • Why the goal is not to just feel better.
  • The 3 reasons we want to feel bad.
  • Real life examples of where we want to feel vs. feel better.

Mentioned on the show:

  • Get the How to confidently speak up in meetings free online course. In this 10 minute video training, you’re going to learn 3 ways to start speaking up today.
  • Ready to get some free 1:1 help? I offer a limited number of free coaching calls each week. Grab time on my calendar and let’s get you feeling more confident today.

How to push back

Do you get frustrated when stakeholders keep slowing down your project because they push back on everything? Are you on the end of losing it because your leaders keep asking for random requests last minute?

This week I’m teaching you one of my most powerful and easiest tricks in the books. Using this tool will help you push back in a way that builds trust while maintaining balance.

The goal is to say yes and… When you do this, it shows you’re on their side, willing to help, and removes any resistance. It also opens a conversation to align on how you are prioritizing it or how you are going to approach it before you get started.

It’s a simple tool, but the application is endless.

What you’ll learn in this episode:

  • Why people get defensive when you push back
  • How to pushback without adding needed to work more hours
  • Why it’s so effective
  • How it works in real examples

Mentioned on the show:

Helpful vs hurtful pain

A few years ago, I got a call out of the blue telling me my position was being eliminated.

I was angry because how it went down was so not fair. I was also worried because I had just moved across the state with my family and did not want to have to find a new company to work for.

They say the only way past something is through, but how do you do that when what you are dealing with is really hard? This week you will learn how to do that.

Being mad and frustrated can be a healthy part of the process. You have to grieve and feel bad before you can feel better. But there’s a lot of negative emotion we feel that’s not helpful.

Healing pain helps you grow, focuses on the future and comes from love. Hurtful pain comes from fear and resentment about what happened. Learning to allow the healing pain and minimize the hurtful pain is how you get through it

Tune in this week and learn how to get through difficult situations without coming out if angry and doubting yourself. 

What you’ll learn in this episode:

  • What makes a negative emotion helpful and healing
  • What makes a negative emotion hurtful
  • How to deal with difficult situations without feeling more angry and down on yourself.

Mentioned on the show:

  • Get the How to confidently speak up in meetings free online course. In this 10 minute video training, you’re going to learn 3 ways to start speaking up today.
  • Ready to get some free 1:1 help? I offer a limited number of free coaching calls each week. Grab time on my calendar and let’s get you feeling more confident today.

Emotional exhaustion

Feeling tired because you worked hard, stayed on track, got lots of things done, and had fun along the way feels amazing. Feeling tired because you stressed and worried all day and feel like you are still behind is exhausting.

There are two main reasons we feel emotionally exhausted. The first is spending emotion energy wishing things were different. The second reason is we think things will be better when _____ (fill in the blank) changes.   

But this is the reason we feel exhausted is because of how you are thinking about your situation. This is great news because you can choose how to think about it, but listen and learn how to do it.  

What you’ll learn in this episode:

  • Why you feel emotionally exhausted
  • How wishing things were different is a root cause of emotional exhaustion
  • How thinking things will get better when they are different is an emotionally exhausting trap
  • How to stop feeling so exhausted and move forward

Mentioned on the show: