Accept what is (Self esteem STEP 3)

When you lose your keys and are running late to an appointment, most of us tend to freak out and run around like a crazy person, tearing through the house trying to find them. At some point we accept they are missing and find a different way to get there or reschedule. Once you have calmed down and admitted the keys are gone, this is the point you have accepted what is. It’s also the point where you start to find a solution that does not requiring cleaning up the house you tore apart.

When we learn to accept what is, it gives us the ability to stop making it harder on ourselves and start looking towards solutions. Accepting what is, is not agreeing with, liking it, or giving up. It’s dropping the panic and overwhelm and moving to problem solving mode.

Accepting what is also means learning to accept who you are, exactly as you are, right now. When you stop shoulding on yourself and telling yourself it will be better when, things get better in the moment. You also start to change what you want because you like you, not because you can’t like yourself until you change.

The faster you can learn to accept things, the faster you can change what you want.

What you’ll learn in this episode:

  • What accepting what is, is
  • What accepting what is, is not
  • Why it’s important to accept what is to boost your self esteem
  • How to accept what is

Mentioned on the show:

How to like yourself more (Self esteem STEP 2)

Self esteem is believing in your own worth or abilities. There are 4 key steps to boost your self esteem. First you have to start with awareness. If you don’t know where you are starting, it’s impossible to find the right path to get you where you want to go. List to the previous episode for more details on self esteem step 1.

In this episode, we are going tot dive deep into understanding where you value and worth comes from. Most of us were taught and incentivized to look for proof of our value through our accomplishments. Things like getting good grades, having a good job, not getting divorced. But these are all things outside of you and don’t change your worth. Once you better understand this, it’s so much easier to like yourself.

You are 100% valuable because you are a human being. You can’t make yourself any more or less valuable. The more you understand this and practice believing it, the easier it is to like yourself.

What you’ll learn in this episode:

  • Where we are taught our worth and value come from
  • Where it actually comes from
  • How to talk nicer to yourself
  • How to believe you are 100% valuable because you are a human

Mentioned on the show:

  • Ready to get some free 1:1 help? I offer a limited number of free coaching calls each week. Grab time on my calendar and let’s get you feeling more confident today.
  • Get the How to confidently speak up in meetings free online course. In this 10 minute video training, you’re going to learn 3 ways to start speaking up today.

How to boost your self esteem STEP 1

Self esteem is believing in your own worth or abilities. It’s NOT the same as being self confident. In fact, many people are self confident, but still struggle with their self esteem. This is why we turn to drugs, alcohol, or obsessing over making things perfect.

If you doubt your decisions, have a hard time saying no, or worry what other people think about you, you’ve probably got room to improve your self esteem. There are 4 key steps to doing this. 1. Become aware of what you think about yourself, 2. Get clear on where your value comes from, 3. Learn to accept what is, 4. Actively work on your relationship with yourself.

In this episode we are going to dive deep into the how to gain a better awareness to understand “who you are.” Because if you don’t know where you’re starting from, it’s going to be hard to know which way to go.

 What you’ll learn in this episode:

  • What is self esteem
  • What are signs that you might be struggling with low self esteem
  • Where self esteem comes from
  • How to become more aware of who you think you are

Mentioned on the show:

  • Ready to get some free 1:1 help? I offer a limited number of free coaching calls each week. Grab time on my calendar and let’s get you feeling more confident today.
  • Get the How to confidently speak up in meetings free online course. In this 10 minute video training, you’re going to learn 3 ways to start speaking up today.

Future focused

Growing up there were things we looked forward to. Things like your first kiss, graduating college, and your first job. But as adults, we tend to stop looking forward to the future and by default look towards our past.

But your past is the wrong place to be looking. If your past knew how to reach your goal, you would have already achieved it.

This week, we are diving into how to focus more on the future and not feel like you have to drag yourself to reaching your goal. The trick is knowing what you think you will feel when you reach your goal and learning to feel that way now.

Tune in this week and learn how to focus more on your future to reach your goals.  

What you’ll learn in this episode:

  • Why we focus on our past by default
  • Why focusing on the future increases your chances of reaching your goals
  • How to be more future focused
  • What to do when you get off track of your goal

Mentioned on the show:

  • Ready to get some free 1:1 help? I offer a limited number of free coaching calls each week. Grab time on my calendar and let’s get you feeling more confident today.
  • Get the How to confidently speak up in meetings free online course. In this 10 minute video training, you’re going to learn 3 ways to start speaking up today.

The 3 critical mechanisms to actually reach your goals this year

What goals did you set last January? Are you on track to reach them? If you’re like most people, you’ve given up on some or all of them.

That’s because we set goals for things we want to start or stop doing. And it requires consistent daily changes. But most of us go about reaching our goals all wrong. And in this episode, you’re going to learn 3 things you can do right now to significantly increase your chances of reaching your goals.

We are great at coming up with excuses to why we can’t reach the goal or why it’s going to be hard. But let’s start admitting those excuses and coming up with a plan to overcome them.

Tune in this week and learn how to make a few small tweaks around how you start going after you goals. It’s going to make all the difference.

What you’ll learn in this episode:

  • Why most of us don’t end up reaching our goals
  • How to make reaching hard goals easier
  • The 3 critical elements to increase your chances of reaching your goals.
  • How to have fun along the way

Mentioned on the show:

    • Ready to get some free 1:1 help? I offer a limited number of free coaching calls each week. Grab time on my calendar and let’s get you feeling more confident today.
    • Get the How to confidently speak up in meetings free online course. In this 10 minute video training, you’re going to learn 3 ways to start speaking up today.

The 2 biggest mistakes people make when setting goals

There are a million resources about how to write better goals. This episode is not one of them. What you are going to learn in this episode you have not heard before. But there are 2 mistakes people continue to make that make reaching their goals so much harder.

First you have to have a bunch of whys that are empowering, selfish, and within your control. To reach you goal you will need to push yourself and do some hard things. If you have multiple compelling reasons why, changes are greater that you will reach them.

Next you have to make sure that you know how to measure that that goal was reached. If not, goals become another thing we beat ourselves up about. This does not mean you have to know how to reach the goal, but you have to know how you will evaluate that you did reach it.

Tune in this week and learn how to easily shift these two parts of your goals and set yourself up for success. These small changes over time can make all the difference. 

What you’ll learn in this episode:

  • Why focusing on the smaller parts of goals is more important than the big things
  • How to create compelling reasons why that will help get you through the hard part of reaching goals
  • How to make sure you can measure reaching the goal

Mentioned on the show:

FAQ’s

Listen in this week and find answers to some of the most frequently asked questions. We cover topics like how to deal with burnout to and how to stop feeling like you are letting people down. If you have a question you want answered, send me an email at lindsay@lindsaybuchancoaching.com Listen and learn answers to some common FAQ’s.

What you’ll learn in this episode:

  • What to do if you are feeling burnt out.
  • What is coaching and what things do people get help with
  • How to stop waking up feeling anxious
  • When’s the right time to rotate

Mentioned on the show:

Strengths and weaknesses

It’s that time of year where we start doing evaluations. We review how we performed against our goals, give peer feedback, and do our self-evaluation. A key part of self evaluations at work is identifying your strengths and weaknesses. But there are a few pitfalls I see people continue to get into around this.

Your strengths are not principles or guidelines your company has in place. Your strengths are what make you, you when you do your work. Your weaknesses are just your strengths overused. So the more you understand your strengths, the easier it is to identify your true areas of improvement.

Tune in this week and learn how to better identify your strengths and weaknesses. Start doing your self-evaluation for your own benefit, not just to tick a box at work. 

What you’ll learn in this episode:

  • What your strengths really are and why it’s important to start by identifying them
  • Common pitfalls people face when trying to identify their strengths
  • What your weaknesses are and what they are telling you
  • Good examples of true strengths and weaknesses

Mentioned on the show:

  • Ready to get some free 1:1 help? I offer a limited number of free coaching calls each week. Grab time on my calendar and let’s get you feeling more confident today.
  • Get the How to confidently speak up in meetings free online course. In this 10 minute video training, you’re going to learn 3 ways to start speaking up today.

How to change your limiting beliefs

We all want to believe different things about ourselves, our abilities, how well we are doing or how possible a dream is. But by default your brain stops you and keeps you stuck in your current limiting belief.  

If you really want to change what you believe, not just logically, but emotionally, this episode is the one for you. You are going to learn the 2 may ways to go from “I’m not good enough” to “I’m unstoppable.” And you don’t even have to control the people and things around you to get there.

Tune in this week and learn how start believing in your ability to get promoted, success at work, meet your goals, and be nice to yourself along the way.  

What you’ll learn in this episode:

  • What your limiting beliefs are the root cause of not reaching your goals
  • 2 ways to change your beliefs
  • Examples of how it works in real life
  • The mental model behind changing any belief

Mentioned on the show:

Ready to get some free 1:1 help? I offer a limited number of free coaching calls each week. Grab time on my calendar and let’s get you feeling more confident today.

Limiting beliefs

What do you believe about your past? What do you believe about your job?

A belief is a thought you’ve had so many times that it feels true. Like ruts in a road, we default to live in alignment with our beliefs. So, it’s crucial you understand where your beliefs come from, what you believe, and how it’s impacting your life.

You have permission to believe anything you want. You also will continue to prove your beliefs true. This is the first of a two-part series to help you get rid of your limiting beliefs and decide on purpose what you want to believe. 

What you’ll learn in this episode:

  • What beliefs are and where they come from
  • Why you continue to prove your beliefs true
  • What are limiting beliefs
  • How to figure out what your limiting beliefs are

Mentioned on the show: