Are you feeling stuck at work? It’s because you keep believing this.

Do you notice you make statements about your life that feels like you are just stating reality? It might sound like: 

  • I’m not a morning person
  • It’s so hard to work in this toxic environment
  • Being an introvert at work is hard
  • I’m so busy

We go around saying these things like we’re just reporting the weather. You can’t make it rain or make it sunny. The weather is what it is and there’s nothing we can do to control it.

The problem with believing these thoughts is that they aren’t going to help you move forward. You are just reinforcing and believing your own excuses. And when you state them as facts, often others will agree with you and validate your excuse even more.

But do you really want to keep enabling your excuses?

These statements are not facts. They’re your beliefs about your life.  

There’s no “morning person” club that you have to qualify for or a test that can prove you carry the gene of “morning.”

There’s no check list of a “toxic” environment. Many of us see “toxic” meaning different things. And we can’t statistically quantify the difficulty of the working environment.

We can’t scan someone and prove they have introverted genes and what authority figure decided it’s harder to be this way?  

We don’t agree on the standard for what’s too much, just right, and too little amounts of things on our to-do list.

You can keep telling yourself these thoughts and believing your own excuses, or you can stop acting like an emotional toddler and start calling yourself on your own lies.

You have to start by knowing what weather statement lies you keep telling yourself. To figure this out, write down the answers to questions like:

  • What do you believe about your life?
  • What do you believe about your job?
  • What lessons were you taught as a child?

Once you are clearer about the beliefs you have about yourself, try to be curious about them and look at how they are impacting your life. Write down answers for each belief to questions like:

  • How is this thought helping me?
  • How is this thought slowing me down?
  • If I believed the opposite, what would be different in my life?

I’m not saying you have to go and change all your beliefs about yourself, but I would strongly encourage you to evaluate them every now and again and decide on purpose what you want to keep believing.

Stop giving weather reports about your life. Stop believing your own excuses. Start deciding what you want to believe. The only thing holding you back are your excuses. 

You got this.

Want help figuring out what beliefs are keeping you stuck and how to let go of your excuses? Let’s jump on the phone and figure it out together. Sign up for free coaching HERE.

The real reason we struggle with work life balance

Recently I’ve had multiple clients ask for help because they are struggling with work life balance. They love the fast pace of Amazon, have a great team, get along with their manager, but they want to do it all and are starting to worry about getting burned out.

They know that working nights and weekends is not sustainable and is going to make them resent their job. But they also want to do all the things and really struggle saying no or pushing back on deadlines.

Knowing how to have work life balance is not really this issue. You literally already know how to turn off your computer, put your phone down, and walk away.

The real reason we struggle with work life balance is because we suck at honoring our commitments to ourselves.

Let’s say you decided you were going to work from 8 am – 6 pm, Monday – Friday and only check your email on your phone twice each night.

Escalations aside, leadership is not telling you to jump back online and finish your work. You are the one thinking all the tiny and sneaky thoughts. These tricky thoughts sound like:

  • I’m just going to check my email so I’ll be caught up in the morning.
  • It’s going to be so much easier to write this doc without distractions and over a glass of wine tonight.
  • I just need to send this one thing out before I forget.

These thoughts sound productive and like you are helping yourself, but they are exactly the reasons you struggle with having a balance of work and life.

NOT doing these things is literally how you create that balance, but at the same time, NOT doing these things often feels really uncomfortable.

If you’ve made a commitment to yourself, you have to start honoring it just as much as you would honor a deadline with your team. Each time you stick to your own commitment, you will start building that trust with yourself and it will get easier.

Coaching is the fastest way to learn how to do this because those thoughts that keep you from honoring your commitment to yourself are slippery. They sound so helpful that you need an external view to help you not just find them, but know how to deal with the discomfort of not responding to them.  

This is such an important skill to learn. It’s the key to being able to let your mind rest from work and actually enjoy the time away from the office without the guilt around what you “should” be doing. If you let yourself rest and take a break from thinking about work, it will also make you more productive and more efficient when you are at work.

When you trust yourself to stick to your non-working hours just as much as you trust yourself to hit your work deadlines, that’s when it really gets good.

You got this.

Want help figuring out how to have work life balance with your job? Let’s jump on the phone and get you started. Grab time on my calendar HERE.