One of my twin 3-year-olds was acting her age and freaking out that her Lego car door would not open. After one try, she started yelling and scream-crying. I asked her if she wanted help and she snapped back with, “NO! I’M NOT PATIENT.”
As any good mom would, I busted up laughing which made her even more mad. I tried to offer help again, but she was not having it. So, I let her freak out and get flustered for a few minutes until the door magically opened and instantly she went back to being happy.
I rolled my eyes, but it made me think. What things I’m I too impatient about to get help with? What things am I taking longer to solve because I’m too annoyed to see a different solution? What things am I over reacting to?
I’ve seen many of my clients get so wrapped up in the drama and frustration with their lives that they don’t even look for possible ways out. They just want it to all go away when really, just going through it will solve the problem so much faster.
Take for example that doc you need to write. When your project comes along that requires a 6-pager, most of us throw a tantrum in our heads because we don’t want to do it. We procrastinate, try to enlist others to help write it, or ask around for a similar doc we can repurpose. There’s not wrong with this, but often it creates a lot of emotional drama.
I say, drop the tantrum and know you are going to write the doc and get it done. Image how much better you will feel once it’s written. So instead of dreading it until presentation day, just write it and move on. Doc’s are never actually “done” so decide for yourself what “done” means and stick to that.
Or maybe your manager is taking credit for your work. You could stomp around and tell everyone how unfair it is and try to prove yourself to your skip level. Or you could talk to your manager and ask them why they feel they need to do that. One way is faster and filled with a lot less emotional frustration.
The next time you find yourself acting like an emotional 3-year-old, get clear on why. Ask yourself the following questions and be honest in your answers.
- Why is this bothering me so much?
- So what?
- Now what?
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