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- WHY do you want to rotate?
- Do you feel good about your WHY?
- What are you trying to escape by rotating?
A buzz word at work these days is Impostor Syndrome.
Impostor Syndrome is when you feel like a fraud because people might find out you can’t actually do all the things they think you can do. I’m pretty sure EVERYONE has felt this way at one point or another.
For example, say it’s your first week at a new job and you are getting a better feel for all the things you are now responsible for. You probably have moments where you feel under qualified, but so what?
Are you making it mean you are going to fail and get fired? Are you making it mean they might regret hiring you?
These thoughts and feelings all stem around fear because deep down you agree with what people might be thinking.
You’re worried because what if you make a mistake. What if you made the wrong choice? What if they hate you? What if you hate the job? What if you get fired? What if?
Worse case scenario, you go and find a new job. Best case scenario, you figure it out, rock at your job and get promoted.
If you new how to do every single thing in your job, you would be so board. You would not be challenged to stretch and grow and probably quit. Who wants to do a job they already know how to do ever aspect of?
Instead of focusing on what people might discover you can’t do, focus on what you know you can do. Think about why they hired you. Why you signed up for the job. What you believe about your ability to figure it out. Most teams value the person that knows how to solve problems way more than the person who is a know it all.
So next time you are worried about being an impostor, stop worrying about what other people think of you and start focusing on what YOU think about you. It feels so much better.
Want help applying this to your specific situation? Sign up for a free coaching session here.
One of the many questions I get asked all the time is how to “manage up.”
We all have managers, who have managers, who have managers and it seems like the higher you go, the bigger the ask and the smaller the understanding on what it takes to execute the task.
Say for example you are in a meeting where the VP says the teams needs to launch a new feature by the end of the month and you get assigned as the project owner.
You know there’s no way we can launch it on time and have it work right while still driving the day to day business projects at the same time.
Sometimes we stress out, stop sleeping, and let anxiety take over our lives. We work crazy hours, push people to do the same, and try everything possible to prove we can do it.
Other times we panic and spend our time building a case whey we can’t and shouldn’t do it.
What if we did a combination of the two, but dropped all the anxiety and panic? It’s totally possible. Here’s how.
This is the exact time where it’s important to “manage up.”
Your VP should not know all of the day to day details you know. That’s your job. But it’s also your job to clearly communicate to them. Managing up does not look desperate or whinny about the budget and resources you don’t have. Managing up means managing the situation they way you want THEM to manage the situation.
It means laying out all the facts, identifying a few possible ways forward, calling out the pros and cons to each option, making a recommendation and letting them make the final decision. Maybe the want the feature to launch and are willing to give on the day to day business projects. Maybe they don’t actually want the feature to launch as quickly once they better understand the tradeoffs.
The only way to know is to manage up. Act like the manager, clearly communicate the options, drop the drama and get to work.
Just because an idea came from someone higher up does not mean you don’t have otpions. Senior leaders value someone that can come to the table with a clear plan to be discussed without all the excuses.
So next time you are trying to manage up, start acting like the manager, drop the drama, and be the manager you want them to be.
Want help applying this to your specific situation? Let’s jump on the phone for a free coaching mini session. Sign up here.
It’s that time of year when we all give feedback about each other and declare our strengths to our manager.
It can feel like a waste. It’s all squishy and emotional and can be pretty much anything you want as long as you can throw one example at it. Then there’s the 38 request for peer feedback waiting in your inbox. Gotta love request from those random people you sat in 3 meetings with.
I personally take team feedback with a grain of salt. I listen and consider the feedback, but also know that it’s none of my business what other people think about me.
But this year I don’t want to dread it and feel like it’s a waste of time. I don’t want to be annoyed that I’m not being promoted. I don’t want of feel like it’s a pointless exercise.
So what do I want to think about the yearly feedback process?
This year I’m focusing less on my strengths and more on what three areas I want to keep growing in. I want to spend time celebrating my wins from the past year (because no one else is going to) and setting very clear goals for myself based on where I want to be a year from now.
What do you want to get out of the feedback process this year?
Let’s jump on the phone and figure it out together. I’m a certified Life Coach that helps Amazon employees who constantly feel anxiety learn how to feel better today. Sign up here.
Have you ever set a goal and been super excited and dedicated to it for a few weeks and then just given up because it’s hard and not fun? Good news. You’re not alone.
It’s funny how we get real serious and committed to something, but after the third or forth tough encounter with it, our commitment starts to slip and we start slowly giving up.
Say your goal is to wake up early and exercise 5x week. For most of us, it goes a little something like this:
Day 1, you are up and at em feeling good. Day 2 you are a bit tired, but still focused on your commitment. Day 3, it starts to get real. You’re tired and it’s cold and you REALLY don’t want to get up, but you do it anyways. Day 4, Na. You’ve earned a break and can do it tomorrow.
Your brain is built to be as efficient as possible so changing habits, routines, and trying new things throws it into panic mode. Of course you will find a million valid excuses to keep sleeping. Of course it’s going to feel better right that minute to hit snooze. But you are the only one holding yourself back from your goals.
What would it be like to set a goal and actually stick to it, EVEN WHEN YOU DON’T WANT TO? What if you stuck to it every time you dreaded it, had something better to do, or were totally justified quitting? Image how much you could do.
I say set big goals. Huge ones that seem really hard but instead of focusing on the end result, ask yourself this one question and come up with a game plan for every single answer.
Question: Why won’t I reach my goal?
Here’s what my 2019 goal looks like.
Goal: Build a 200k coaching business by December 31, 2019.
Why it won’t work (all of my excuses) and my plan to overcome them:
I don’t have enough time.
I can’t do well in my day job and my side gig at the same time. Something will have to give.
I don’t know how to do it.
How am I going to get enough people to buy my program?
What if they don’t like my program?
Working nights is hard when I’ve been working all day.
Want help defining your 2019 goals and creating a clear plan to get there? Sign up for some free coaching and let’s rock 2019 together.
We’ve all had times when we have to work with that ONE person. You know. The one who takes credit for everyone’s work and is always schmoozing with upper management, but is the worst team player.
They can be so hard to work with because you want to keep a close eye on them so you don’t get thrown under the bus, but you loath interacting with them. Sometimes even just seeing them makes you roll your eyes and do everything you can to avoid them. And I’m sure you are not the only on on the team that feels this way.
It sucks because THAT person can easily ruin a good day.
I’ve been in this situation a few times over the years. It’s sadly even how I bonded with some of my team members. Nothing like a shared hatred of someone to bring the group together.
A couple years ago I was working with someone that bother me so much it was starting to effect my performance. I was so obsessed with how much I hated them that I was not getting things done or doing them very well. That’s when I realized something had to change. It was either them or me.
I knew logically that I can’t control anyone but myself so that left we with the option to rotate teams or put on my adult pants and stop having temper tantrums about reality.
I was NOT in a place where I could “see the good” in them, but I could just look at reality and drop the drama. So that’s what I did.
They would come into work and instead of thinking about all the things they do that bothers me, I just though, so and so is at work.
Instead of stewing about the meeting I was going to be in with them I just acknowledge that the reality was they were going to be there, but I could still be me.
Slowly, but surely it got better. Don’t get me wrong. They did not change a dang thing. But I changed what I was focused on. Waisting all of my emotion energy on them was getting me nowhere, but taking back control of my emotion energy and purposefully choose to focus on other things was so much better.
I never did get to a place where I enjoyed working with them, but I was able to be totally neutral about them. They were not good or bad. They were just a person on the team.
I rotated teams, but now when our paths cross I don’t even think twice about it. It feels so great to be in control of my emotions when they are around.
So if there is someone you are having a hard time working with, for one day try to stop arguing with reality and just keep telling yourself, “They are just a person on the team” and see how it goes.
If you want help applying this to your specific situation, let’s jump on the phone and hook you up with some free coaching. Sign up here.. I only offer a few free coaching spots a week so grab one before they fill up.
Last week a coworker reached out because they were so frustrated with their manager canceling their 1:1’s. Our conversation when a little something like this:
Me: Why is this a problem?
CW: I want to talk about my career and get feedback.
Me: Why do you think they canceled it?
CW: Because he’s busy and know that I’m great at my job.
Me: So, tell me again why it’s a problem?
CW: Because I want to talk to talk about my career and get feedback.
Me: You want to hear him say the words you already know are true? Why? If you believe they think you are doing great, why do you need them to say it?
We continued talking about what this meant and she realized she wanted a 100% guarantee on feedback and a plan to a promotion even though logically she gets there’s no such thing.
How often do you worry and stress about things because you don’t feel 100% certain about them?
What if you just decided to be 100% certain for yourself?
What if you decided you didn’t need to be 100% certain?
What if you decided your manager canceling your 1:1 means you are amazing and to keep doing what you are doing?
You get to decide whatever you want to believe so choose your beliefs on purpose.
The choice is yours so stop believing the illogical freak out in your head and start believing the reality that you are amazing.
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A while back I was presenting a business document to my skip level. They started out with the preface that they think “we are all smart and capable people.” I knew what was about to come was going to be rough.
I also knew that no matter what the feedback was, I had done my best and was proud of the plan.
I sat there for an hour and did not say a word. I listened to all the feedback, took notes on follow up items, and felt all of my emotions.
I was pissed others were not chiming in when they gave feedback that contracted feedback I’d been given from my manager. I was hurt that all of my hard-work was still not enough. I was so annoyed that I was going to have to work on my vacation. I was frustrated at what was being asked because no one knows the answers.
But I just felt it all. I gave myself permission right after the “preface” to just feel whatever came. I was not going to try and justify my way through it and tell myself why the feedback was wrong. I just felt it.
In the end, I was no longer pissed or angry. I was still annoyed about working my vacation, but I came to terms with reality. I separated out the facts from all the drama. There needs to be another version of the doc. There are questions to be answered. But so what? It does not have to mean anything. I get to choose how I want to feel about it and right now I’m just going with neutral. It’s not good or bad. It just is.
So next time you get some hard feedback, just feel it. Feel the anger and hurt and pain. It so much better than resisting it.
Want help learning how to apply this to your situation, sign up for free coaching here.